So um. Wow.

Let's be honest, here. I didn't think I'd take this as seriously as I said I would. But, I've written ~1,400 words per day. I've got 6,696 words done 5 days in. I have to write 43,303 more in 25 days. I'm fairly confident that I can do it.

The @ssh0le that invented this meme probably doesn't create entire realms of existence and have multiple personalities screaming inside their brain, never mind trying to have it all make sense... 

FCK YOU, I WILL NOT KEEP CALM.

I started off wicked strong, getting 2000 words out night one, and I've tapered off a little. I think it's just a slow point in the story, and it'll pick back up soon. I'm just... It's weird, having this be a thing. Taking it seriously but not super stressing, meaning and aiming to force it out in a month and go back over it later. I'm notorious for editing as I write, and that's why I get so discouraged with other projects, or burn out, because I just keep digging through what's already there rather than pushing forward.

I know dat feel, Sisyphus. 

Not this time. I've got an outline forming, I'm about 2-3 chapters/plot points ahead of where the writing is, and I'll do more tonight before I start my REQUIRED 1 1/2 hour daily writing I've been forcing myself into. Not sure whether to count it for the day before or the day of, since it's around midnight - 1 AM. I should move it back to earlier, since if I don't make 50K by midnight on the 1st, it doesn't count...

And then there's this fact of life. Which is why I rehash and edit. But... oh. What's up, Sisyphus. I see you up there, making my point. Good on ya, bro.

I want a shirt. I want printed and formatted paperback copies. I want this to happen. I want to be that @ssh0le at a coffee shop talking down to people because I actually finished a god damn book, rather than just talked sht about doing it. And I'll try my hardest.

But I'll need motivation. And support, and... Anyone want to be my accountability/reading buddy? :)

Sign me up right the fck now.

-RaRa Out

NaNoWri... Yeah. Right.

I've been blabbering on my Facebook about my plans for NaNoWriMo this year, and I realized earlier today... I have a blog for that sht. LOL. So, since my battery's dying and I already typed out two separate outlines for the same project, I'll just copy paste my Facebook postings. Because... America, I guess.

If I attempt NANOWRIMO, I have to write approximately 6 pages, or 1,700 words, a day, to make the 50K/30 day requirement. 

Leave it to Tard to keep it real.

I've doubled that number before, so I know I can do it. I've just been stressed and twisted and distracted and depressed for years, and it's tough to immerse yourself in a new world you're creating when you feel like less than nothing. I've written in bursts, but I always fall flat because the confidence and ambition evaporates. But this year I'm escaping into this project. I'm going to force the past depression, stress and worthlessness I've felt for so long out of my head and dive in to become a multitude of other people. I'll find my strength and worth in my characters; the pieces of me I keep hidden. I don't expect to hit 50K, but I'll consider 25K a victory.

I'm trying to decide what project to drown in for NaNoWriMo. Part of me wants to start something fresh, another part to dive back into something started but unfinished and count 50K after what's already written. I know that's kind of cheating, but I see NaNoWriMo as more of a HEY, MOTIVATION rather than HEY, DO IT RIGHT AND TAKE IT SO SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE A ANEURYSM. Because, well, I'm that serious about my writing all the time, which is why, I think, I never get much done. I take it too seriously. It means too much to me. And I refuse to write anything bad. So, if I take a lighthearted, fun approach to a month dedicated to celebrating authorship and writing rather than racking my head and heart over something at which I refuse to fail, this first draft (or most of one) in a month could really help me out. It will definitely help with my perfectionist attitude toward my writing, at least. And now here's the question: Do I work on something I already started, as I sort of have a grasp on the characters, tone, and story, or should I dig up an outline and start something fresh?

#7 of OVER 9000!!!

I've got two potential main characters for this project. They're both female, which is weird for me, because I'm not used to writing female characters as leads, so that's challenge number 1. I guess it comes down to which leading lady sticks out in my head more, which one seems more interesting. I outlined the plots for both so they can happen simultaneously and intertwine at various points, and the events of one affects the other. I'm leaning toward writing one entirely, then the other, and having it be not really a duology, as they're the same story from different viewpoint...

i dunno. I'mma try real hard this year. I need to write again. I've been out of it for long enough, it's time to get serious again. I mean, writing's not THAT difficult, right?

Oh. Well, sht.

- RaRa out.